I haven’t blogged for a while – much as I’ve been telling myself to get on with it, just do it, I just haven’t.
But then 2 things happened.
Firstly, I did an online training seminar with one of my Solution Focused colleagues all about the miracle question. What’s the miracle question, I hear you ask – that sounds a bit airy fairy. The miracle question was developed by Steve de Shazer (a psychotherapist and pioneer of solution focused brief therapy) back in the early 80s. Its purpose was to shift the conversation quickly and easily into the future when the problems (that brought the client to therapy) were gone. It allows the client to start to imagine a positive future, identifying the (sometimes) tiny steps that will take them towards that future. The progression of the question and the answers leads the client to a very definite “doing” picture – if I was feeling better I would be cleaning my windows, and I’d be doing them as soon as the children have left for school. I’d be happy I’d done them because then I could cross that off my list and I could stop worrying about it.
It’s important that the future focus is narrowed down to a single step, to avoid the primitive brain throwing up the shutters and thinking there is too much to do. Imagine being asked to organise a party – no additional information, just organise a party. That’s a big task – where, when, who is coming? You may just throw the towel in straight away, thinking there is just too much to do. But if you stop and think about it, and break it down into small, manageable steps – set the date, then book a venue – suddenly, it’s not so daunting. And your brain is the same if you have decided you want to overcome your anxiety and go to a party with strangers. That task is huge and daunting, but break it down – the first small step could be deciding on your dress, and the first small step to that could be surfing the internet looking for ideas – suddenly you’re looking forward and feeling excited about your party.
I volunteered to questioned by Alex Brounger during the course, and guess what – the fact that I needed to do a blog turned out to be the small step that would make me feel better. so here I am doing it – and you know what, I feel better!
The second thing that happened was that a ping into my inbox alerting me to my cousin’s new blog on his website. It articulated so beautifully (Tom is a writer, and far more talented with words than me) exactly how we should be living our lives – exactly what I say to my clients in my sometimes clumsy way. And I wanted to share that blog. Everything that happens to us in life can be thought of in two ways – the positive way and the negative way, and the way we think about the events then affects the way we feel about the event. And we can choose the way we think. It takes a lot more effort to choose to think positively initially, but the more you practice, the better you get at it, and that simple act of positive thinking releases great chemicals into the brain, and that in turn motivates us to do it again. But Tom says it so much better than I can, so have a read of his blog.
If you want to find out a bit more about he miracle question, about hypnotherapy and how it can help you to overcome anxiety, fears or phobias, please contact me.